Sexual Addictions

Sexual Addiction describes difficulties that can develop that are related to sexually compulsive behaviour. Sexual compulsion may present itself in areas such as sexual behaviour, pornography, affairs, internet dating sites. Similar to other types of addiction, those with sexually compulsive behaviour experience a complete loss of control over their behaviour, spend increasing amounts of time engaged in the behaviour (often to the detriment of other aspects of their life e.g work, family, interests).

In order to help you determine if this may be a problem for you, or someone you care about, the following list may be of help:

Sexual Addiction Signs

• Sexual Behaviour that is out of control
• Inability to stop despite negative consequences
• Serious negative consequences (e.g relationship breakdown, loss of work, mood problem)
• Desire and effort to limit sexual behaviour
• Significant amounts of time spent engaged in thinking about sex/sexual fantasy, and engaging in sexual behaviour.
• Sex and sexual fantasy used as a primary coping mechanism
• Mood elevates whilst engaging in sexual fantasy/behaviour, but often experiences low mood/emptiness/despair after sexual behaviour.

Sexual Addiction affects all aspects of a person’s life and those who experience it can feel as trapped by it as others do from substance addictions. The Cycle of Sexual Addiction has been described by Patrick Carnes who describes the following steps:

1. Preoccupation

The person’s mind is completely taken up with thoughts of sex. The person constantly seeks out sexual stimulation/material.

2. Ritualization

The person often has particular routines regarding sexual activity which lead up to sexual behaviour. The ritual intensifies the preoccupation, and this adds to the arousal and excitement.

3. Compulsive sexual behaviour

The sexual act itself, which is the end goal of the preoccupation and ritualization. Those with sexual addiction find themselves unable to stop or lessen the frequency of this behaviour.

4. Despair

Often the person experiences feelings of despair and hopelessness regarding their behaviour and powerlessness. The despair can be so difficult that the person begins again to be preoccupied with sexual fansaty, which begins the cycle once more.

Sexual Addiction can often involve phases in a persons life where they are completely abstinent from sexual relationships as a way of coping with their addiction. This is known as an “anorexic” phase. Sexual addiction can often result in total isolation, relationship breakdown, depression and suicidal ideation. It is important to be aware that sexual addiction is NOT the same as paedophilia or sexual deviation.